Posts Tagged ‘humility’

girls IHOP-ATL1

So this part of the post isn’t about Romania…yet. But this is a picture of me and Jess and Kirsten 5 minutes ago!

We are at IHOP-ATLANTA! We were blessed to be able, at the last minute, drive down and attend the Passionate Pursuit Conference.

We are staying with Kirsten’s parents who are so awesome! They just rented an apartment two minutes from IHOP-ATL for 6 months so that they can do an internship!

They love Jesus so much, it’s incredible!

So we don’t even have to use the car at all while we are here. We grabbed our backpacks and walked the short distance.

So here we are, ready to hear from the Lord!

We are here until Sunday afternoon then we head back to Burlington!


We leave for Romania in 6 days! It is crazy!  I feel as if there is so much to do, and then we go away for three days! But God is good!

Here are some things I am praying for, for out team and Romania and myself:


fall in love with Jesus


death to LIFE



walking in the Spirit





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This is what I always imagine in my head when I think of being confident and free in Jesus Christ.

I can’t wait to be that girl.

I’ve been struggling the past few days with some insecurities.

This is what the Lord has been showing me:

Pride breeds insecurity.

And confidence (in Jesus Christ) produces and cultivates humility.

Because when I get insecure about something I am automatically getting offended or my pride is getting hurt. The more pride I have the more insecurities I seem to have because I care more about what people say or think of me.

When I find that I am being confident in the Lord and who He has made me and not worrying or caring about anything else, those things that would usually offend me, I can take in humility. When I know who I am because of the Lord I can go low, because my value is found in Him!

Help me Jesus be this woman, confident, free and humble!

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Christian Perfection by Fenelon- I haven’t read this entire book yet, only because my wonderful friend Wesley, has a copy of it, and is reading it and every time he reads something that is amazing he gets me to read it and it blows me away! I also have not bought this book because it is an old book and trying to get it costs quite a bit. But I will do my searching and shopping in used bookstores so as to get the best value. 🙂 YOU SHOULD READ THIS BOOK!

Passion for Jesus by Mike Bickle- This was the first book that I read where I felt like someone else in the world understood my hunger for more of God. And it encouraged me that I could actually have more. This book helped bring understanding to me about Intimacy with Jesus.

Humility by Andrew Murray– We are all in desperate need of humility! This is a lifestyle that Jesus promoted over and over again in the Sermon on the Mount and the gospels. This book has so much insight into humility and what it looks like to be lived out!

*Disclaimer- I am not saying that I believe and agree and am saying you should believe everything in these books. They have some awesome things that are biblical and will encourage you to pursue the Lord, but as always search things out in scripture and don’t take anyone’s word for it but what the Lord says!*

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About 3 years ago, during a psychology class, my teacher handed out this poem. At this time in my life, I was just beginning to even understand what dying to myself was. I was also reading a book by David Nassar “A Call to Die”. It was awesome, and then I received this poem and it blew me away! Tonight I was reading a few chapters in a book by Fenelon called “Christian Perfection” on dying to ourselves. It was awesome. And it reminded me of this poem and I wanted to share it with everyone. Its amazing. Help us Jesus to become more like You and less like ourselves!

You can check out some of Fenelon’s writings by clicking here or under articles on the right sidebar.



When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don’t sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ.


When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving silence.


When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality, or any annoyance; when you stand face-to- face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility-and endure it as Jesus endured.


When you are content with any food, any offering, any climate, any society, any raiment, any interruption by the will of God.


When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendations, when you can truly love to be unknown.


When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy, nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances.


When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart.


Are you dead yet? In these last days, the Spirit would bring us to the cross.

That I may know Him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” Phil.3:10

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Not only am I learning about meekness/humility, but I am learning how LOVE is the root of it ALL!

I used to think that I had it down, loving people. But it was with all the wrong motives. I loved to be loved in return, to have the approval of man etc…But now the Lord is breaking these things off of me and I am finding that I have no idea how to love people! It is one of my daily prayers…let me love others like You do, Jesus. And let me love You like the Father loves You! This is the first and second, greatest commandments. Out of Jesus’ own mouth. Matt. 22:36-40.

I am also finding that if we do not live out of love, we are living out of duty or out of legalism. What is the purpose of what we are doing then? Just to do it? Love should be the motivation of our hearts! The one whose heart is aflame with love will ENJOY and DESIRE to obey the Word.

If we truly understood the love that Jesus has for us, our lives would be COMPLETELY different. We would no longer live for the approval of man. But only the approval of God. We would no longer worry, we would trust God, that He loves us and knows what He is doing with our lives (Jer. 29:11). We would be freed from wounds in our hearts. We would live for OneThing. Our eyes would be focused only on Jesus Christ. We would give up the chase for other lovers, and truly be satisfied with the only One who can satisfy us. As David said in Psalm 27:4 “One thing I have asked fom the Lord, that I shall seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in his temple.”

Humility would also be a lot easier if we lived our lives in love. We would LOVE everyone and DESIRE to put them before ourselves. We would value what people have to say. Love covers a multitude of sins! We wouldn’t have anger, bitterness, jealousy or unforgiveness in our hearts towards others.

Man, if I could only walk like Jesus walked! Oh how this is the desire of my heart!

My prayer is Eph. 3:17, that we all would be rooted and grounded in His love! That we would understand the length, width, depth and height! To know the love that surpasses ALL understanding!

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The more I sit in the prayer room, the more I sit in the Lord’s presence, the more I see how easy it is for me to walk according to the flesh! My ultimate desire is to be like Jesus, and yet so many times I find myself acting completely the opposite!

Tonight at Life Fellowship’s bible study, David Gordon (director of IHOP-AC) was teaching on the third core value of the Kingdom. Matt. 5:5. “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.” Gentle can also be translated meek, or humble. One of the biggest things I struggle with is PRIDE! So often I want things done the way I want, or I want to tell people what I think about them. Like I am some judge, and so much better then them. But I am not! So tonight we looked at what an amazingly HUMBLE GOD WE HAVE! Jesus Christ became HUMAN! And then DIED! (Phil. 2:8)  Two of the lowest things He could have ever done! He came as a servant, He washed all of His disciples feet. When He is God! He didn’t have to, but He came to show us how to live! It convicted me so much. I do not live like Jesus Christ. I do not live like He is calling me to. I make excuses, and water down what He said and showed us to do. He layed down all of His privileges and rights and submitted to the will of His Father, and submitted to His earthly parents. WHAT AN AMAZING GOD WE SERVE!

All I know is that this Humble Servant is so worth my devotion and love. And my heart LONGS and DESIRES to be what HE wants me to be! So I seek humility. I want my flesh and pride to be crushed. KILL ME JESUS! Not so I can check something off of a list, but because I love Jesus and I want to be the woman He created me to be! Its all for You Jesus! So if anyone ever wants to pray for me…pray that I walk in humility and meekness as my Bridegroom did! Do this in ALL of us God!

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Just the past two years have I really started reading my bible, for real. Not just reading through my bible in a year, but actually reading it and asking the Lord to give me understanding of what He is trying to say. I started to study Matthew, and I found that the book of Matt. contains the essentials for Christianity, and yet I had never heard most of these taught. The values of the kingdom of God are laid out in this book and yet I def. wasn’t living them, not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know they were there. So began my journey to live a Sermon on the Mount lifestyle. And the Lord is challenging me, daily, to live according to His kingdom and not according to the kingdom of this world. I can tell you that this is the biggest struggle of my life. To live in this world, hear and see all that they teach and to not live according to it.

So how then shall we live?

Jesus clearly lays out the way of His kingdom in the Sermon on the Mount, Matt. 5, 6 & 7.

As I continue to study the Sermon on the Mount, I am burdened that this lifestyle is, as my director would say, Christianity 101 not Christianity 401. But most of these values laid out in these chapters are thought of as “radical” Christianity, not “normal” Christianity. But these are the values that came out of the very lips of the man we say we follow. Jesus Christ. Here are the core values:

1. Spiritual Poverty (Matt. 5:3)- understanding the absence of God in our lives, and the presence of sin. We are nothing, God is everything and yet HE LOVES US! This will lead to the kingdom of heaven.

2. Mourning (Matt. 5:4)- when we realize the absence of God in our lives, and the presence of sin we will move into mourning. We will mourn for the PRESENCE of God and the ABSENCE of sin. We also need to be mourning now for Jesus to come back, John 16:16-24. Those who mourn will be comforted.

3. Meekness (Matt. 5:5)- walking in humility in all that we do. Dying to ourselves, taking up our cross daily to follow Christ. Spiritual poverty and mourning both lead to meekness, because doing these two things causes us to be weak. To rely on Christ and not on our own strength. When we realize we are nothing and God is everything and we believe this and live according to this we will be humble. The meek will inherit the earth.

4. Hunger and thirst for righteousness (Matt. 5:6)- when you begin to live a life of spiritual poverty and realize the presence of sin in your life, and the HOLINESS of God you will want to be holy as He is holy. To be like Jesus. Jesus is righteousness! We need to HUNGER AND THIRST for righteousness. Not just say it, or pray it but to LIVE IT! For those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be satisfied.

5. Merciful (Matt. 5:7)- to have mercy on those around us. For those that are merciful will receive mercy.

6. Pure in heart (Matt. 5:8)- to have a pure and clean heart. With no wrong motives, knowing what is on the heart of the Father and living it. For those that are pure in heart will see God.

7. Peacemakers (Matt. 5:9)- in all that you do to promote peace. No conflict with people, but to go out of your way to make peace. To humble ourselves, even if we are right, to make peace with a person. Matt. 5:43-48 talks about loving your enemies. This is the best way to make peace. Both of these passages say if you make peace and love your enemies you will be sons of God.

The next two verse of the beatitudes talk about persecution. If you live according to these values, according to the Kingdom of God you will be persecuted. Matt. 5:10,11 say that if you are persecuted yours is the kingdom of heaven. WOW! We will have the kingdom of heaven if we are persecuted. Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness! This is incredible. And yes, God will use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. If we live this lifestyle that we are meant, we will do that very thing.

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