Archive for November, 2010

**I first posted this on May 1, 2009. It is really speaking to me today so I thought I would repost this!

Some days I don’t feel the Lord at all. I can’t live this life based off of my feelings. Most times I’m not having the encounter of a lifetime. Its me sitting in the room trying to commune wit the Holy God. Trying to not think about food, clothes, my hair, money, life in general. Continually bringing my focus on the One who I am here for.

Some days I hear the Lord speaking to me like a whisper in my heart, sometimes through His word. Most days I am meditating on what He has already spoken.

Some days I don’t feel like I can keep praying, singing, worshiping. I feel like I’m not doing enought.

If I was here because of my feelings, I wouldn’t be here. I would be doing something that I could see results from, I would be out doing what looks good to people.

But I’m not here to see results with my eyes. I’m not here for an emotional encounter. I’m here because I love Jesus! I’m here because this is where He wants me and I delight in nothing more then doing what He wants me to do! I’m here to be near to the One whom my soul loves. To hear what is on His heart and to partner with it in prayer. Even if I can’t see the change. Even if people tell me I’m wasting my time.

To tell you the truth, sometimes it feels like I am! But what keeps me here in this place of prayer and worship is love.

Even when I don’t feel anything, I rest in the confidence that I know who my God is. He is love. He loves me. This is truth. NOT what I’m feeling at the moment.

I am confident that partnering with His heart in prayer is the ONLY thing that changes things and brings about the action of change. Even when I don’t see it.

I am confident that I am not wasting my life. Because I know without a shadow of a doubt He’s worthy of ALL my time. He deserves me giving up EVERYTHING!

And I’m here praying for the world because He is worthy of every single person giving up EVERYTHING for Him.

Yeah, its love that keeps me here. There is this burning inside of me called love that has taken root and won’t let me go.

I’m not talking about feeling love. Love is here inside of me no matter how I’m feeling. It warms my heart when it starts to get cold.

When I’m sad or discouraged this love doesn’t leave. It makes me cling to my God!

And even though I am so weak, this love is growing inside of me every day!

This is why I live, breathe, eat, sleep, pray, talk, laugh…because this love I have for my God keeps me going!

Why do I love Him? Because He loves me perfectly. His love never fails me. His love covers my sins. His love is passionate and jealous. No one has ever loved me like this nor will they ever. He has given up everything for me. He has given me everything I’ve ever had. And all those times I’ve been unfaithful, He’s been faithful!

Do you see? How can I not love Him? I have to! He is worthy of so much more but I give Him my all, no matter how small it might be! I give Him my love. And this is why I live and do what I do.


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**I accidentally posted the last post unfinished! I finished it and so now it makes much more sense! 🙂


Today I have had a burden.

I have felt the compassion for another person rise up in my heart.

I have felt the concern.

I have felt the overwhelming desire for everything to be right in that person’s life.

I have felt urgency for God’s will to be done.

For God’s voice to be heard.

For God’s heart to be seen.

I have felt love overtake me and cause me to say, “Oh, God!”

When I feel these things, only one thing can be next.

For prayer’s to bubble forth from my mouth.

To turn all that I feel into intercession for that person.

Because I KNOW only One person can answer these things arising in my heart

I can ONLY call on God, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, to make things right.

So today, my heart is heavy and burdened. So I am giving my burden to Him!

He loves this person more than I do. He wants all of the things I am asking for more than I do.

So have Your way, God!

I love that I can feel the burden for another person and pray and know that things can change!

Are you pouring out your burdens before Him?

Matt. 11:28-30

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This past weekend a big group of us from Burlington headed to Durham, NC to attend the Onething conference that IHOP-KC puts on in different cities.

While I was sitting there, worshiping Jesus with hundreds of kids, teens, and young adults, I was thinking about two of the passages in scripture that “one thing” is mentioned.

Ps. 27:4- “One thing I have asked from the lord, that I shall seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple.”

Luke 10:39-42- “She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His world. But Martha was distracted with all of her preparations; and she came up to him and said, ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.’ but the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

The first passage from Psalms is King David crying out for the one thing that he wants even in the midst of his enemies. The second passage, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet even when it wasn’t what she was supposed to be doing. Her sister made it clear, “she needs to be helping me!” But Jesus said that she had chosen the one thing necessary, and that it wouldn’t be taken away from her.

For a long time I have considered myself a Mary (although I know that I tend to be a Martha at times, busy and distracted by so many things), because I love to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to His word. It is the calling I believe that is on my life. To first minister to the Lord, and second go to the nations.

As I was sitting at the Onething conference I was thinking how both of the other intercessory missionaries here at IHOP-AC, David Gordon and David Rickman are named David. The calling on their lives are also similar to mine! They have chosen one thing for the rest of their lives, to dwell in the house of the Lord, to gaze upon His beauty and to meditate in His temple. They were named for their destinies by their mother’s even before they were born!

I felt left out as I also wished I had been named after my destiny. And then I realized: I am! My name is Amanda MARY. My parents named me MARY and for basically ever, I hated my middle name. BUT. But I am now in love with it! I am named after the calling on my life and I was named this before I was even born!

I am a Mary, I have been called to sit at His feet, listen to His word and choose the one thing necessary!

THANKS MOM AND DAD for naming me MARY! This is soooo special to me now and is a blessing to me!!!!

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Read Part 1 here.

This is team 1 and team 2 working on team building activities! The Lord was really dealing with me and exposing me and my selfishness during these activities! Help me, Lord!

This is me helping run games the 2nd week with Jeff. He is one of my best friends brothers!

We worked pretty well together…until…

There is one game where you call out random items for the campers to bring into the center and place in the game leaders hands.

Things like a braclet, toilet paper, hair, pastor, or earwax.

Well, without me knowing (since the translator was speaking) Jeff  planned for all the runner who bring the things into the center to have them WIPE the EARWAX (from a campers EAR) onto my ARM!!!!!!!!

It was the most disgusting experience of my life, to this day. I was furious. I stomped off the field.

BUT Jeff apologized and I forgave him and got over my anger. It was actually pretty funny. The campers LOVED it.

Here I am watching intently to make sure no one is doing anything illegal during this game of crab soccer.

Romanians are AMAZING soccer players. And they were even exceptional in this special edition of the game! 🙂 And it was pretty hilarious to watch all these big guys crawling around on the ground!

Katrina sprained her ankle really bad one of the last days at campe the 2nd week! We got to go to a Romanian hospital and they put a cast on it! But the worst part was that she had no crutches for the remaining time and had to be carried everywhere!

She was pretty happy to get back to US and get crutches!

The 2nd week of camp is always HUGE and has older kids. Some of these kids have been coming for 5 years or more! It is really incredible to see them year after year and to watch them grow in love for Jesus!

On our way home after camp and during our flights to the US, we had a layover in Munich, Germany….and while we were there….

We got to go into the CITY! We were only there for about an hour. But it was totally worth it to get to see Munich!!!

All of us walking and taking pictures! Katrina had to be carried because there were no wheel chairs available! The boys were a blessing, to say the least!

Girls in Germany!



2nd week was a week of exposure for me. The Lord was showing me MANY areas where I still needed to become like Him! But He really worked in me!

Not only that but it was incredible to watch the campers worship Jesus. Many were dancing and rejoicing and cry and just experiencing the Lord!

I got to pray and minister with girls almost every night and many got saved! There were also quite a few who were renewed in their passion for Jesus!

The Lord is so good to let us go and minister and share His love with the WORLD!

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Here we go! Pictures from my trip to Romania this past summer!

This is the team that went for the first week. We helped run a camp for kids-20 somethings!

We all got really close and had a GREAT time enjoying each other, enjoying the Lord together and enjoying the campers!

We taught the campers a game called “Ninja”. It was a huge hit and we all had a blast playing it with them!


This was mud games day! This is the campers favorite day! I think that all of us Americans have a blast too!

We play a ton of different mud games and basically get the campers as muddy as possible. Then at the end we have them all wash off in the creek! I participated last year and was covered in mud!

This year I decided to stay clean! 🙂

One of the days during the first week it POURED down rain. And so I decided to have fun anway! I went out and started playing in the water on the volleyball court.

Before I knew it all the guys were out there splashing and playing around. It was a blast!

Basically it was them vs. me. I really didn’t stand a chance!

I was getting tired! It is a lot of work trying to run around, not getting splashed and trying to splash!

The boys really didn’t know what to do or what was wrong! ha!

This guy who is diving into the water, which by the way isn’t deep and the sand is like SAND PAPER, his name is Vali.

I decided….

….to get him while he was down! It’s the only way I could even get them! 🙂

And then it was over.

This is one of the last nights for week 1. We ate pizza and hung out. This little girl is one of the pastor’s daughters, Julia.

Friends! 🙂

American girls doing Romanian girls hair! 🙂

Butterflies literally land on your fingers and don’t fly away for a long time! We had fun with this one. (it was not hurt)

He would fly from person to person!

The last day for team 1 we got to go to a little touristy town and we got to paddle boat in this like pond! It was tiring but very fun!


This first week was my favorite missions trip I have ever taken. The kids encountered the Lord like I had never seen before. The Lord was speaking to them and showing them His love! It was incredible!

These kids fell in love with Jesus and I am praying that they continue to stay in LOVE with HIM!

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I live about 25 minutes from the prayer room now. I moved about a month ago. So it is taking some time to get used to having to leave about a half and hour earlier! Needless to say, I have been late quite a few times.

Well, this morning I was out the door early! So I decided to treat myself to some McDonald’s. 🙂 I had just enough time to run through the drive thru and grab something. I counted the cash that I had and knew I could get 3 $1 items. So I ordered my food and even had my money ready before hand (impressive) and happily stretched my hand out my window to the nice lady waiting.

She sweetly smiled at me and said “It’s been taken care of.” I kind of just looked at her confused for a minute. She continued, “The lady in the car in front of you took care of it.”

A huge smile spread across my face as it dawned on me…

God cares for me and is my Provider!

Yesterday morning I taught a Sunday school class to the 5 year olds in my church. The whole lesson was on God caring for us. The memory verse was 1 Peter 5:7- “casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” The bible story was Matt. 6 where Jesus exhorts us to not worry but understand that God loves us more than the birds, so He will take care of us!

So I asked has anyone ever been worried? It was fairly amusing watching a 5 year old trying to come up with a worry. It is almost non-existent. They completely trust and have faith that their parents are going to provide for EVERY ONE of their needs and they never doubt. It is incredible the faith that children have! I learned a lesson from them!

So during our prayer, I asked the Lord to help them understand how much He cares for them, and that this truth would take root even when they are 30 and have to pay the bills! They all laughed at that.

God is continually reminding me how much He cares for me, and how He can provide in even the most surprising and fun ways!

Thanks for the McDonald’s, Lord!! 🙂

In what ways is the Lord providing for you…look for it in EVERYTHING!

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On Monday night we have a two hour prayer meeting. During this prayer meeting we pray for revival and awakening in Alamance County. That people who know Jesus would fall more in love and people who do not know Jesus would accept Him!

At the end of the prayer meeting one of our interns read a passage of scripture. Romans 12:9-21. The very last verse says this: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Many times I wonder can I even overcome the evil that I see in my heart and desires? But it is possible!!! We can overcome evil by CHOOSING the RIGHT thing. Choosing what is good.

BUT the problem now becomes: Do I love what is good enough to choose it? Many times I DON’T! Which is why evil overcomes me!

Ps. 45:7 says, “You (Jesus) have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, Your God, has anointed You with the oil of joy above Your fellows.”

So many times with Christians we wonder why we aren’t filled with joy. Aren’t we supposed to be the most happy people??? YES WE ARE!

I was watching a video of Mike Bickle and Misty Edwards months ago, maybe even a year ago. Misty said something that has stuck in my mind ever since and that the Lord reminded me of on Monday night. Jesus was anointed with the oil of joy above His fellows BECAUSE He completely LOVES righteousness and HATES wickedness. But WE have something in us that still loves wickedness!!!

I see this so EVIDENT in my heart! I do not always overcome evil with good, because I don’t love the good thing enough, and there is love in my heart for the evil!!

So my prayer and pursuit is to LOVE righteousness and what is good, and ABHOR evil and wickedness as Jesus does!

I want to be violent in my pursuit to LOVE what Jesus loves and HATE what Jesus hates!!

Do you see it in your own life? The places where we still love wickedness? Oh to be anointed with the oil of joy!!! Oh to hate evil with every part of our beings!

Do it in us, God! Cleanse us and purify us of all the places where we still LOVE what You HATE! And make us a JOYFUL people like YOU are Jesus!

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