So this part of the post isn’t about Romania…yet. But this is a picture of me and Jess and Kirsten 5 minutes ago!

We are at IHOP-ATLANTA! We were blessed to be able, at the last minute, drive down and attend the Passionate Pursuit Conference.

We are staying with Kirsten’s parents who are so awesome! They just rented an apartment two minutes from IHOP-ATL for 6 months so that they can do an internship!

They love Jesus so much, it’s incredible!

So we don’t even have to use the car at all while we are here. We grabbed our backpacks and walked the short distance.

So here we are, ready to hear from the Lord!

We are here until Sunday afternoon then we head back to Burlington!

———————————————————

We leave for Romania in 6 days! It is crazy!  I feel as if there is so much to do, and then we go away for three days! But God is good!

Here are some things I am praying for, for out team and Romania and myself:

UNITY

fall in love with Jesus

LoVe
 

death to LIFE

BREAKTHROUGH

REpeNTanCE

walking in the Spirit

Abide

HuMiLiTy

FREEdom

I have taken up drawing recently. I have drawn about 5 pictures in the past couple of days. This was the first one I have basically ever drawn with a pencil. This picture represents the burden in my heart for the women who are in sex slavery. On the right side I wrote “Set the captives free!” This is what I am praying for!

I tend to be a little dramatic, and sometimes I live the moment by my emotions. Add selfishness in there, and we have ourselves a situation where I really need Jesus.

That happened tonight. I act like His love is not enough for me. Sometimes I feel like I need it from people instead, and if I don’t get it, I feel like my life is ending. I feel panicky and claustrophobic. I know my heart needs to be freed from this, and I want to be freed but not necessarily how Jesus wants to do it. I want to be freed the way I want. So the cycle continues.

Yet, I hate the person I become when I act all stupid and selfish and ridiculous, and then I walk in condemnation. I hate acting like that. I get frustrated at myself. So this is what I figured out tonight:

• I act like the greatest Love of all time, is not enough for me.
• The Father delights in giving me freedom, so I need to want it and receive it.
• Even in these weaknesses, He still loves me!
• This sets me free to walk out of them, not continue in them.
• Condemnation is not from the Lord, it is deception.
• It is NOT by MY strength, it is ONLY by the LORD’S!
• Even when I am freaking out, and the situation and the moment seem so awful and terrible, He is still who He says He is.
• He is still Faithful, He still loves me, His plans are perfect, He is always with me.
• He is jealous for me, and He wants to get rid of everything that hinders me from loving Him.
• I am jealous for Him, and I want Him to get rid of everything that hinders me from loving Him.
• I love Him more, because I am still amazed that He is so in love with me.

I love You! I love You! I love You! My heart overflows with love! You are always with me. Every time I feel my heart beat, You are there and You are thinking about me. Because You sustain my heart. You are giving me breath. Thank You! Free this feeble heart of mine to love You completely! Give me the desire to want to be free, the way You want me to be. For Your plans are perfect and wonderful, and Your ways are so much higher then my ways!

Abba,

Please help me to understand Your love for me. That You saw me before You created the world and You dreamed to be my Daddy. I so desire to be free from everything that keeps me from loving You. Everything that keeps me from loving Jesus. I want my heart to be open and free! To truly abide in Your love and not get caught up in the temporal things of this world.

I cannot wait to spend eternity with You! Wow! What a day that will be! Until then, let Your kingdom come in my life! Let Your will be done! Some days I just walk in Your love, and others, like today, I need You to remind me. Wrap me in Your arms and speak to me. I don’t want it to be all about me. I want it to be about You, and Jesus and Holy Spirit and bringing GLORY to YOUR name. So I need You. I need You to come and do what only You can do in me. You created my heart, You know it best, so bring freedom.

I want freedom. I will give up everything else. Even those things that I try to cling and hold onto with all of my strength. I let them go…and I trust You. Even though it is hard sometimes, because I like to think I know whats best. And I never do. You are so kind and good and deal with me in such a tender and gentle way!

Thank You Daddy! You are exactly what I need! Your words and who You are is like balm to my heart. Let the balm, the ointment flow down and heal any cracks that are there. I want to be whole hearted! I want the enemy to have no strongholds in my life.

I want me mind, my will and my emotions to be Yours! To be in submission to Your Spirit! Daddy, show me Your will and I will follow You. Give me Your thoughts, set my mind on the things above. And let me have Your emotions! To love what You love, to hate what You hate, to weep with You, to laugh with You, to be overflowing with Your joy and peace! You are such a good Daddy I know you delight in giving me these things! So let me be able to receive! Open my heart! Thank You! There is no other God like You!

I praise You, I give all glory to You! And I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! WIth all of my heart and with everything within me! I am Yours forever!

On Wednesday night I had the most amazing experience in the prayer room! Something just broke within me and I was able to dance and dance and dance before the Lord! It was amazing! It was during our 4am to 6am intercession set. A bunch of us started dancing and then everyone ended up dancing and we danced for almost the whole 2 hours! It was so awesome just to be free and just enjoy Jesus and dance before Him in joy!

When the morning people came in at 6 am we were still singing and dancing. They were looking at us like we were crazy, and then some of them started dancing too. It was so much fun!

My roommate Audria asked me if I was ok, and I looked at her kinda weird and said “this is me being normal”. So then I realized that the past 2 weeks I really haven’t been acting myself. One guy said he thought I was the kind of girl who was really intense and never wanted to talk to anyone. Then we hung out on Wednesday (before the dancing) and he said he realizes now that I’m not like that. But that started making me think. Why have I not been acting myself? I guess it just took some time to really adjust to being here, and to enjoying being here.

I’ve been so full of joy and excitement, its been amazing! And I am so enjoying my new friends! Its awesome to be able to experience God in such a real way with a group of people who are desiring the same thing. Which I’ve been part of a group like this for about 3 years now. My friends in Lynchburg and my friends in Burlington. I am so thankful and grateful to the Lord for allowing me to be part of such awesome communities!

Thank You Jesus for enjoying me and for allowing me the freedom to dance before You!

I am in Atlanta! I have been here since May 7th. I enjoyed about 4 days hanging out with my friends the Campbells and then I headed into the internship on May 11th. It was a rough couple of days at the beginning, and it still is hard every once and a while, but God is really moving in my life. I know that He has me here for a reason and I am so thankful.

We had a conference this weekend called the Passionate Pursuit Conference and it was pretty awesome. The Holy Spirit was being poured out in great measure. There were many people healed and many people who started walking in freedom in some aspect of their lives.

I can’t even begin to explain all that the Lord is doing and all that He is speaking to me. I think so far the biggest thing is His love and His joy. He has been pouring out His joy here at this house of prayer and it has been amazing. I am trying to dive into the depths of His love and to really abide in it. (John 15:9)

Be praying with me as the Lord is breaking walls and stronghold’s off of my life to do with how I think about myself and caring about what others think of me. But Jesus is awesome and I submit myself to Him and darkness has to flee! Praise the Lord!