Hey everyone! I’m back! (After I really didn’t come back last time, sorry about that). So much has been happening. After I last posted I went to GA for 3 1/2 days and then to Florida for 3 1/2 days. And for the past week I’ve been fasting from the computer. So that makes it 2 weeks!!! AAAHHH!!! I’m really sorry.

Here is a slide show from the last Romania trip I took. Yes, I had blonde hair!

I have some news for you all! I AM GOING TO ROMANIA!!!! Woohoo! I’ve asked for prayer about this and wrote about it a few times and God is AMAZING! It is completely paid for and I leave in exatly 10 days!

I will be gone June 24th until July 13th. There are two teams that are going, but I will be there for both teams. There are 21 of us in all. Our team name is Pursuit. We are in pursuit of Jesus!! It is going to be an incredible trip, one of the best yet for me I think! The team is going to be amazing as well. I’ve got close friends going, the pastor of my church, young girls, people I don’t know at all, and its just going to be beautiful to watch the Lord use us all in the lives of the Romanians!

This will be my 5th missions trip! 4 of them have been to Romania, but this will be my first time to this area in Romania. I am going to Camp Lighthouse. A youth camp. Usually I go to Bazna, Romania, to the house of prayer there, BHOP. I am looking forward to this change and going back to this beloved country!

We had a day of fellowship and training for our team yesterday and it was a blast! Oh how I love the preparation for these trips, and the way the Lord speaks and teaches all of us to be a team. It is incredible! He is so amazing! To get a group of people to do something together for 19 days, and learn how to do it IN LOVE and not kill each other! Only God can do that! Haha!

So again, I apologize for the posting lapse. It is getting harder and harder to keep up a blog, but I still want to! I really do enjoy doing it. And I love that people actually read it sometimes. I don’t know how these people who post every day or more then once a day for YEARS do it. It is crazy, I guess it is some of their jobs, and well they are much better at it then me. But I’m going to keep chugging along as best I can. Come back if you want, hopefully there will be something to read!

I had a terrible emotional morning.

If I’m just going to be honest. Which I am.

I don’t know whats wrong exactly.

I just kept wanting to cry during church today. It wasn’t necessarily because of anything bad, maybe I think I just felt misunderstood.

Misunderstood with what I am doing with my life. Like people hate me or look down on me. Which, by the way, they do.

The pastor kept talking about how we need to encourage the young generation to be passionate about God and know that He has a calling on their lives and we can’t take them away from what God is telling them to do.

And I can’t ever stop what I am doing or my life would be TERRIBLE. Do you understand? Maybe not. People wonder why I am doing what I do, or wonder why I’m not in college or getting a job or doing something better. It is sooo discouraging! Why would you try to distract someone from doing what the Lord has destined them to do?

I am doing what I am doing because it is the MANDATE for my life. My life has a PURPOSE and a CALLING and if I did ANYTHING ELSE I would be failing at life. I would be someone other then who I am supposed to be.

I have to waste my life on Him or I would die!

So even if EVERY person in the WORLD came against me, or tried to discourage me, let me just tell you, I won’t give up. I won’t stop loving Jesus radically. I won’t stop living a lifestyle of prayer and fasting. I won’t stop being an intercessory missionary as my occupation. No way. Not on ANYTHING.

I would gladly give up my life for Jesus.

And I’m saying yes everyday to letting Him have His way with me.

And even if I feel misunderstood forever, its ok. I’m in love with God, and God’s in love with me. This is life. This is success. I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING.

The Sacred Charge.

1) Pray Daily- 2 hours in prayer and the Word a day. Read the book of Revelation once a week for three years.

2) Fast Weekly- Setting our heart to fast two days a week.

3) Speak Boldly- standing as a Faithful Witness in allegiance to Jesus’ heart for the Church, Israel, and the nations.

4)Do Justly- doing works of justice focusing on the fatherless and oppressed.

5) Give Extravagantly- giving to the prayer movement. (beyond our tithe).

6) Live holy- walking out the sermon on the mount and keeping the purity covenant.

7) Lead Diligently- leading weekly prayer meetings and/or Bible studies focused on training forerunners.

This is the Sacred Charge. I know that the Lord has called me as a forerunner. To prepare the way for the Lord’s return and to prepare the  bride.

I have dedicated the next 10 years of my life to give myself wholeheartedly to this calling. “To not come up for air”. I will be 33 years old.

The next 10 years of my life are probably the years that will bring the most change. Possible marriage and children. But even in the midst of that, I will give myself to this charge. I won’t do it perfectly but I will continue to give myself to it with the grace and strength of the Lord.

Read Wesley’s blog to find out more.

Hey everyone! So sorry I haven’t updated recently. I was pretty busy every day and then at night I would be so tired I couldn’t blog. But I’m back!

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This week in the prayer room I played a couple of sets. One of them was on a Tuesday. The Lord, because He is so good, was speaking to me about something that needed to change in my life.

And its the little things. Ok let me back up. So I always tell the Lord that I will give up everything and that it is no cost. He can have all of me, and every part of me. I tell Him that I will die for Him. Persecution, martyrdom, bring it on.

But what about giving up my favorite chicken salad sandwich. I can barely stand the thought. When the Lord calls me to fast, and give up food, I always give in with the chicken salad sandwich. I think things like, “its ok, its something so little.” But its something that my God, that I say I love, asked me to give up! Why can’t I do it!

What if God didn’t call me to give up big things, but only little things for the rest of my life! Would I humble myself to do it? Oh those little things….those are the things that hinder us from really giving up all of ourselves.

I desire to give up even the little things…even chicken salad sandwiches!

What little things are holding you back from giving up all of yourself to Him?

I’ve been praying and wrestling with the topic of healing lately. Is the the will of the Lord to heal every time, or do we need to pray “if it is Your will”. These are a few of the questions that have been running through my head. Mostly because if it is His will, then why am I not believing it? Why am I not praying for people? So it really makes me confront my disbelief.

My friend Wesley read this book that has brought him some clarity on this topic. And he gave me the link and I am reading it right now. It is amazing!

Ex. 15:26 tells us one aspect of who God is. He says that He is our Healer. He is specifically talking to Israel in this passage, and He is still talking to them, but those of us who are His children, we have been grafted in, and so He is our Healer too! Do we acknowledge Him as our Healer? Not very often. Why do we not see people healed? Who actually believes that He is going to do it? I know that I really struggle with this.

Well this book by G.C. Bevington, is a testimony to God’s faithfulness in healing. This man really lived prayer and fasting. And healing was an overflow because of his perseverance in prayer and in faith! I am being challenged every time I read this book! Well it is free! So I encourage you to read this book!

You can read it here!

Another really encouraging thing about this book is the way that Bevington lives his life. He never does ANYTHING without praying and asking the Lord and if he does something other then what the Lord is telling him, the Lord always shows him this and then he is obedient. He doesn’t move, even if he has to wait for days, until the Lord tells him where to go. He never has money or a place to sleep, but He goes in faith knowing the Lord is going to provide for him. I want this kind of faith. Especially for the lifestyle that I know the Lord is calling me to. I am to give myself to prayer and fasting. And to do this, I have to be completely dependent on Him! For everything, my food, money, clothes, gas, a place to live. Because I am not “doing” anything. I myself, and not doing anything that I can fall back on. I have no security, but Jesus Christ! Thank You JESUS! Make me more dependent on You! Increase all of our faith!

Here at the house of prayer, we participate in something called the Global Bridegroom Fast. This is the first Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of every month. We fast for 3 days for the Bridegroom! Jesus! Matt. 9:15 says that we will fast when He is not here. So we are fasting for more of Him and asking for His return! You can click here for more information!

So today was the first day of the fast. Its hard. We are voluntarily making ourselves weak, so that God can fill us! I so badly want to eat food. It’s crazy how much food has a hold on me. My stomach tells me what to do a lot of the time. But I don’t want anything to control me, except for Jesus Christ!

Lord, give us grace and strength to fast and pray! Fill us up with Your Holy Spirit, make us hungry for You and not for the things of this world. Let us only be satisfied with You! In Jesus’ name!

I desire….

To be more like Jesus.

For the murdering of millions of babies to end.

For love to abound in me.

For meekness and humility to arise and pour forth.

For the Bride of Christ to be pure and spotless.

To enjoy fasting.

To be unknown.

To love myself.

To never forget and always remember what my Jesus has done for me.

For you to know the love of the Father and the Love that Jesus Christ has for you.

To pray forever and never give up.

To serve.

To bless someone and them never know who it is from.

To be a shining and burning light.

To have the oil of intimacy.

For anger and frustration to never rise in my heart.

For my soul (mind, will, and emotions) to come into submission to His Spirit.

To be in Uganda.

To live a Sermon on the Mount lifestyle.

For your life to be radically changed by Jesus Christ.

To waste my life, all for love, on Jesus.

What are some things you desire? Ask, according to His heart, and He will give it to you!

The first Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of every month is the Global Bridegroom Fast. You can go to IHOP-AC’s website on the right to find out more about this fast.

The staff and interns at IHOP-AC have been reading the book “The Rewards of Fasting” by Mike Bickle. It has really been sirring my heart towards more of a hunger for Jesus and I just wanted to share it with you.

So I am just going to share what I have gotten so far out of the first 4 chapters. Basically I want more of God and fasting humbles us to receive God! Fasting reveals what controls us, therefore as we see what is in the way, we can repent and get rid of the things that are hindering us from having more of God! It is so beautiful, except that our western culture tells us to do the complete opposite. Our culture does not accept weakness. The more powerful and successful you are the better you are. Not so in the KINGDOM OF GOD! It is the UPSIDE DOWN KINGDOM! If we are truly living according to the Kingdom of God then our lives should look completely opposite of the world!

Fasting is voluntary weakness. You are making yourself weak by giving up food, therefore having to rely on God. As we say no to our flesh (which tells us to eat) then our spirits will be alive to hear from God. Romans 8:6 says “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace!” How amazing is that! Fasting is a quick way to put the flesh to death and live according to the Spirit.

Every Christian should be living a lifestyle of fasting. Unless by the doctors orders you can not. Fasting is a value in the Kingdom of God. Matt. 6 speaks of 3 very essential things in the Kingdom of God; giving, praying and fasting. There ya go. There is your reason.

Fasting is also a way of mourning. In the Old Testament almost every reference to fasting is associated with mourning, and mourning over their sins.We should fast because we realize the depravity of our soul. We are sinners and we need God! We fast in mourning over our sins, asking for more of God’s presence. And as we humble ourselves in voluntary weakness, our spirits will be tenderized to the Holy Spirit, who searches the deep things of God, and reveals Jesus to us!

Jesus talked about fasting in Matt. 9:14-15. John the baptist’s disciples asked Jesus why He and His disciples did not fast. Jesus then talked about Himself as the Bridegroom! He said “The attendants of the bridegroom cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? But the days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.”

Wow. His disciples did not need to fast because HE WAS WITH THEM! We need to fast, in mourning because we should long for the RETURN OF JESUS!!! We want HIS PHYSICAL PRESENCE! We should be so lovesick for our Beloved that we fast and mourn for Him to return.

So all of this is convicting the crap out of me, why? BECAUSE I DON’T LIVE THIS WAY! My flesh so many times rules over my spirit. Ugh! Its really annoying! And I want it to stop! I want my soul, my mind, will and emotions, to come into submission to the Holy Spirit. I want to put my flesh to DEATH! So that my spirit may be alive and hunger for Jesus Christ!

IHOP-AC is joining TheCall and IHOP-KC in prayer and fasting for 21 days, from Feb. 13th until March 5th. We are praying and crying out to God Joel 2:12-32. And we are also specifically focusing on Isaiah 22:20-22 and Daniel 2:20-22. We are praying for the government of America and the presidential elections. And that America would turn back to God and repent for the injustices that are being done in our land!

Just the past two years have I really started reading my bible, for real. Not just reading through my bible in a year, but actually reading it and asking the Lord to give me understanding of what He is trying to say. I started to study Matthew, and I found that the book of Matt. contains the essentials for Christianity, and yet I had never heard most of these taught. The values of the kingdom of God are laid out in this book and yet I def. wasn’t living them, not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know they were there. So began my journey to live a Sermon on the Mount lifestyle. And the Lord is challenging me, daily, to live according to His kingdom and not according to the kingdom of this world. I can tell you that this is the biggest struggle of my life. To live in this world, hear and see all that they teach and to not live according to it.

So how then shall we live?

Jesus clearly lays out the way of His kingdom in the Sermon on the Mount, Matt. 5, 6 & 7.

As I continue to study the Sermon on the Mount, I am burdened that this lifestyle is, as my director would say, Christianity 101 not Christianity 401. But most of these values laid out in these chapters are thought of as “radical” Christianity, not “normal” Christianity. But these are the values that came out of the very lips of the man we say we follow. Jesus Christ. Here are the core values:

1. Spiritual Poverty (Matt. 5:3)- understanding the absence of God in our lives, and the presence of sin. We are nothing, God is everything and yet HE LOVES US! This will lead to the kingdom of heaven.

2. Mourning (Matt. 5:4)- when we realize the absence of God in our lives, and the presence of sin we will move into mourning. We will mourn for the PRESENCE of God and the ABSENCE of sin. We also need to be mourning now for Jesus to come back, John 16:16-24. Those who mourn will be comforted.

3. Meekness (Matt. 5:5)- walking in humility in all that we do. Dying to ourselves, taking up our cross daily to follow Christ. Spiritual poverty and mourning both lead to meekness, because doing these two things causes us to be weak. To rely on Christ and not on our own strength. When we realize we are nothing and God is everything and we believe this and live according to this we will be humble. The meek will inherit the earth.

4. Hunger and thirst for righteousness (Matt. 5:6)- when you begin to live a life of spiritual poverty and realize the presence of sin in your life, and the HOLINESS of God you will want to be holy as He is holy. To be like Jesus. Jesus is righteousness! We need to HUNGER AND THIRST for righteousness. Not just say it, or pray it but to LIVE IT! For those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be satisfied.

5. Merciful (Matt. 5:7)- to have mercy on those around us. For those that are merciful will receive mercy.

6. Pure in heart (Matt. 5:8)- to have a pure and clean heart. With no wrong motives, knowing what is on the heart of the Father and living it. For those that are pure in heart will see God.

7. Peacemakers (Matt. 5:9)- in all that you do to promote peace. No conflict with people, but to go out of your way to make peace. To humble ourselves, even if we are right, to make peace with a person. Matt. 5:43-48 talks about loving your enemies. This is the best way to make peace. Both of these passages say if you make peace and love your enemies you will be sons of God.

The next two verse of the beatitudes talk about persecution. If you live according to these values, according to the Kingdom of God you will be persecuted. Matt. 5:10,11 say that if you are persecuted yours is the kingdom of heaven. WOW! We will have the kingdom of heaven if we are persecuted. Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness! This is incredible. And yes, God will use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. If we live this lifestyle that we are meant, we will do that very thing.