I tend to be a little dramatic, and sometimes I live the moment by my emotions. Add selfishness in there, and we have ourselves a situation where I really need Jesus.
That happened tonight. I act like His love is not enough for me. Sometimes I feel like I need it from people instead, and if I don’t get it, I feel like my life is ending. I feel panicky and claustrophobic. I know my heart needs to be freed from this, and I want to be freed but not necessarily how Jesus wants to do it. I want to be freed the way I want. So the cycle continues.
Yet, I hate the person I become when I act all stupid and selfish and ridiculous, and then I walk in condemnation. I hate acting like that. I get frustrated at myself. So this is what I figured out tonight:
- I act like the greatest Love of all time, is not enough for me.
- The Father delights in giving me freedom, so I need to want it and receive it.
- Even in these weaknesses, He still loves me!
- This sets me free to walk out of them, not continue in them.
- Condemnation is not from the Lord, it is deception.
- It is NOT by MY strength, it is ONLY by the LORD’S!
- Even when I am freaking out, and the situation and the moment seem so awful and terrible, He is still who He says He is.
- He is still Faithful, He still loves me, His plans are perfect, He is always with me.
- He is jealous for me, and He wants to get rid of everything that hinders me from loving Him.
- I am jealous for Him, and I want Him to get rid of everything that hinders me from loving Him.
- I love Him more, because I am still amazed that He is so in love with me.
I love You! I love You! I love You! My heart overflows with love! You are always with me. Every time I feel my heart beat, You are there and You are thinking about me. Because You sustain my heart. You are giving me breath. Thank You! Free this feeble heart of mine to love You completely! Give me the desire to want to be free, the way You want me to be. For Your plans are perfect and wonderful, and Your ways are so much higher then my ways!
