Barrenness

I can describe this week in one word: barrenness. As I have been sitting before God I have been feeling disconnected and disengaged with the Holy Spirit. It really bothers me! I want God. I don’t want to be far from Him. And I was sitting yesterday just trying to pray and press through the wall that seemed to be up. I was journaling about how barren I felt, and the Lord reminded me that even though I feel nothing, I am still pursuing Him. My heart is still for Him and He is ravished! (Song of Sol. 4:9) I am glancing His way, even though I may feel disconnected. Then I prayed, “Even though I feel so barren right now, in all that I am doing let this day count and mean something to You. Even though it seems like I am failing, I pray this would be worth something to You!” And the revelation hit me, “I praise You that You do not love us based off of what we do! I just need to live because You love me! Not live so that You will love me!” So even in the midst of not feeling God, He was teaching me something about Himself. He is so amazing! Barrenness counts to God! When you keep pressing in despite your feelings or situation, it pleases the Father’s heart so much! What an awesome God we serve! I need to keep praying that even during the barren times I would keep giving myself to Him!